While I was shooting the Video about identity in Berlin, I also did a rather simple video with Zoe just quickly outside. Even the cold freezing weather couldn't stop us... I had the idea of an ironical piece of video art about the force to smile and the refuse to do so. It's about hypocrits - might those be others or yourself. It's a condition and not a story. It's when you feel isolated, gray and gray and even more gray, and everybody else is just giving you the full smile, what you can't stand anymore, although you're trying hard and you don't know if it's just hypocracy. It's about the situation, when you feel alone, but you also really want to feel alone. When you decide to paint yourself gray, melting with your gray background and being frustrated and just general pissed with everybody who's smiling, because that's just what is not possible for you right now. With those ideas in the pot I also didn't want it to be self-pity, but those are moments everybody knows from his life. So I added some unexpected music to give it the ironical touch it needs.
For my upcoming group exhibition in Nairobi the topic is "Identity".
This is not just a word aiming for your very self, Identity does also imply your cultural identity and in my believe it is nothing fixed - I'm not just a person with my very own Identity which will always be like this right now, I'm also the sum of my experiences, of my surrounding, of my history, family, country I'm living in and I'm choosing to stay in. And this is all continuously changing as I'm living on.
With my piece "I've never agreed (with myself)" I want to show how everybody is actively judging himself/herself, reflecting himself/herself, by struggling, hating, loving etc. (with) yourself. This makes me feel like we're having more identities than just THE one. So I tried to show them.
I filmed a video at the East Side Gallery in Berlin, having a triplicate of the same person in front of it. As you might know the East Side Gallery is a piece of the original Wall in Germany (full of fantastic graffiti!). I use it as a synonym for the culture which you didn't choose, but you were born in. I projected this video, adding a Live Performance in front of the projection, where the same person judges herself watching her in the former video. I repeated this process with the latest video etc.
I'm almost done with the editing and looking forward to the group exhibition in Nairobi!
Thanks to the fantastic actress Zoe Hutmacher for being part of this!